I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
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I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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