Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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