well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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