every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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