Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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