Your dad touched me again.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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