Sry I called you an 8
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
and she was petting her beer can
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
how drunk are you?
Several
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
