I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
you never un-have a 4some
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
