i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
