too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
