He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
