i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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