see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
