your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
