My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
