saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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