so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize