BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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