what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize