You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
