Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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