making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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