So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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