I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
