i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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