ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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