honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
