atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
