I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize