do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
