just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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