Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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