okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Randomize
