so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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