I didn't shave. On purpose
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize