Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
