I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
