If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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