**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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