so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just forgot I was standing up.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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