In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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