Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My glasses were in the garbage this morning