I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.