There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.