how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
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he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
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She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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