hotel room ftw
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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