yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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