sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
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My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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