Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
