i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize