those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
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Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
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Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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