i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
