Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
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Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
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I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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