I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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