you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
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He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
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I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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