Pappa wants mamma naked
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
