She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
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I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
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I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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