UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
