we're blogging at a bar
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
